24 week scan today

We have just got back from the hospital from the 24 week scan and are pleased to report that all is well with the girls. (We had that confirmed again - yes it's still girls!).

The scan was very quick today, we were only in there about 7 minutes! just enough time to take a few measurements and make sure all was OK and take a few (not very good) pictures (see below - if it's worth it as they really aren't good pics today!).

We found out today that both babies are now head down, and that they are growing pretty equally.

Twin 1 is now 1lb and 11 ounces (753g) and twin 2 is 1lb and 10 ounces - so they have almost doubled in weight over the last 4 weeks.

Everything else is as it should be.

So here are the pics we got today:

Twin 1:



Twin 2:



I'm not too worried about the poor quality pics this time as we are going to have another scan in a couple of weeks at the 4D place again:)

Bump pics to follow later in the week.

24 weeks pregnant!

I can hardly believe I am typing this, we actually made it to 24 weeks! This is such a huge deal for me and Chris, probably one of the biggest milestones along the way - and we made it.

It's been an 8 year slog to get here, numerous IVF treatments, 5 pregnancy losses, one at 21 weeks, so to get this far is a huge weight off of our shoulders.

The paranoia that we have faced since the day we found out we were pregnant has only been heightened by my friend losing her precious daughter at 23 weeks, just a few weeks ago - sadly it made me realise that my paranoia about being careful, and not doing anything to put this pregnancy at risk is well placed, as she suffered with the same problem that we had and it happened to her for no reason.

My heart is still very much with her and I know how deep her pain will run, losing a baby at this stage is simply the most awful thing a couple can go through, I can't even begin to explain how it makes you feel.

So for us, this milestone is a welcome day, it's something we have looked forward to for a very long time, as it means our babies are now viable in the eyes of the medical world. It means that if I go into labour, or my waters break early (PROM) then they will do something to save them, and they stand a chance of survival.

Matthew and Florence were born just a little too soon, for them this world was a cruel, cruel place where doctors considered them a miscarriage and not viable, which seems so, so wrong when you hold them in your arms and see how perfect they are.

So for today, we are grateful, happy and very much relieved to make it to '24 weeks'. It doesn't mean they would survive, or even be healthy should they be born now, but it means the doctors will try. They are now considered to be 'real babies'.

Now we have to make it past 30 weeks to ensure they come into this world healthy.

Big hugs to T & A. xxxx

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween - something I've always loved since I was a kid when we used to go trick or treating around the village, I have fond memories of fake blood and plastic teeth and pumpkin carving!

This is the first year I've carved a pumpkin for a long time - we chose to do an Oogie Boogie from Nightmare before Christmas - here it is:




We also decided this year as it will be the only chance I ever get to do this - to paint the bump as it's about the right size to mimic a pumpkin and we thought it would be a laugh.

Here is a pic for your amusement!

2 days to the next milestone!

I can hardly believe I'm writing this, the last 8 years have been such a hard slog for us that to make it to 24 weeks with a pregnancy still seems like a dream that may never happen for us.

However, come Monday - we will officially be 24 weeks pregnant - and our babies will be considered as 'viable' by the obstetricians in this country.

It still very much saddens/angers me that prior to 24 weeks, the healthcare professionals still consider your baby to be a 'miscarriage' if you should lose it, I'm guessing that the people who made up these rules have never had to face the prospect of losing a baby so close to their magic '24 week' deadline - and have never felt the gut wrenching pain that you go through when something so tragic happens, only then to be told that the perfectly formed little baby that you delivered is 'only a miscarriage' and to not be given a birth certificate or death certificate for this little one.

Anyway, I don't want to dwell too much on the sadness, as it's already painful enough, but the happiness that we might make it to that '24 week' milestone and for everything to be OK for once.

I don't want to speak too soon, so just for today - at 23 weeks and 4 days, all is well.

A quieter week

It's Thursday already, and it's been much quieter this week.

It started on Monday with the plumbers in to put the new sink into the babies room, which now looks great, you can see that this is going to make a great bath for the girls while they are tiny! We still have to get the tiles for the back splash, which we plan to choose this weekend, I wanted to see what it all looked like though before we decided! - here are a couple of pics:





On Tuesday I had to pick Rasher up from the crematorium, that was quite hard to do as I miss him so much and to come home with an empty basket is heartbreaking.

Bit of work yesterday and today I've had more work and also a coffee with a friend.

We are looking forward to next week though - 24 weeks is such a huge milestone for us, we can't wait to get there.

23 weeks pregnant

I didn't do the development last week as it was just too awful a week to even think about, but I know I must press on and keep things as normal as possible so where are the girls this week?

According to some, our babies now weighs a little more than 1.1 pounds and measures about 29cm from crown to heel. Their hearing is well established and they can make out a distorted version of my voice, the beating of my heart and my stomach rumblings. (which are many! lol) Loud noises that they will hear the uterus, such as the barking of a dog or the roar of a vacuum cleaner, probably won't bother them when they are born.

Fat is still being deposited at a rapid rate, but your babies will still look red and wrinkled. Skin is being produced at a higher rate than the fat is, so the skin hangs loosely. They look red because the skin is losing its transparency and pigment is beginning to form. (Sadly I remember this is true with Matthew, he was quite red when he was born).

They say I should be feeling them moving quite a bit throughout the day as they will kick and punch the uterus walls. (I can confirm this is true, they are moving a lot and kick me several times a day!) Babies also run their hands along the umbilical cord and touch their body parts while they are in the womb.

They can now can suck their thumbs for real, where she was just sticking it in her mouth before, and they will continue to swallow amniotic fluid and recycle it as urine.

The liquids and sugars that the baby retracts from the fluid is a supplement to the nutrients that the placenta delivers. They say I might be able to feel small `jumps` inside of me when one of the babies gets the hiccups from swallowing fluid. The pancreas is developing and it will responsible for insulin production, to help break down sugars.

Only 7 more days to our next milestone of 24 weeks.

Goodbye Mr Rash

This is a posting I have dreaded making, over the years we have had many cats, at one point we had 6! but sadly due to accidents on a road, or illness most of them have left us. This time it was Rasher's turn.

He was my favourite of them all, he was 14 years old and I'd had him since he was an 8 week old kitten. His personality was just lovely - he was such a friendly old mog, everybody loved Mr Rash. He was fat, cuddly, soft and gentle with a big deep purr.

A few weeks ago we took him to the vets as he was eating on one side, they said he would need a few teeth out so we took him in and he had two teeth removed, he hates the vet and came home in a very sullen mood, and just never recovered.

He stopped eating and lost over 1kg in weight over the following 2 weeks, we took him back to the vets for a checkup after the first week and they said it was probably just the soreness in his mouth, and sent him on his way.

A week later he still wasn't eating and had become listless and quiet, even though there was still a little spark about him.

We took him back to the vets on Wednesday last week and she had a good feel in his tummy area and told us there was a mass, so on Thursday he went under the anaesthetic again and they went in for a look.

She found that his liver was the wrong colour and was covered in nodules that were not supposed to be there, she assumed they were tumours and the best course of action was to put him to sleep:(

We had him home on Thursday night for one last time, I couldn't bare to be parted from him before then, but you could tell he wasn't well.

On Friday at 4.30pm, he passed peacefully into a deep and forever sleep with the aid of the vet.

We will both miss him terribly. He was more than just a pet, he was a friend and he was a big part of this family.

Goodbye Mr Rash, we love you.

Glad this week is almost over

What a horrible week it has been here, Chris has had the week off and his parents were down to decorate the nursery for the twins, so it was supposed to be a happy time, but it has been upset with so much sadness, we will be glad it's over.

As you know a friend of mine was admitted to hospital last Friday after her waters broke at 22+4. She had an absolutely horrendous few days that followed, which pretty much mirrored what we went through with Matthew.

Sadly on Thursday 22nd October at 1.02am her little girl Florence was born sleeping. She was a perfect little girl and was 1 lb 3 ounces.

It's hard to know what to say when something so awful happens to a very dear friend, and it's hard to believe that in this day and age that no one can do anything to help.

To Florence, you will always be remembered by your Mummy, Daddy, brother Noah and their friends and family. You will be desperately missed.

I hope that she has found Matthew, and wherever they are, that they are now playing happily together and looking after each other with all the other Angels.

I often see poems that parents write or post to a place on a forum I regularly read, and I really love this one.

To me it embodies everything I think our little ones would say to all the mummy's of Angels:

An Angel never dies

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born, that something stopped my heart.
I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold, it doesn’t mean I’m gone.
This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face.
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it was “meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes”
But that won’t soften your worst blow, or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do, another child you’ll bear.
Believe me when I say to you, that I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand.
You will stroke my face and kiss my lips and then you’ll understand.

Although I never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes.
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
An Angel Never Dies.

Also in sad news Rasher was put to sleep yesterday at 4.30pm. I will write a little something for him tomorrow.

Too much sad this week.

Firstly let me say things are going well with the twins, but other things this week have not been so good.

My friend is still in hospital, and she is still losing a little fluid. She is in an awful place and each day for her right now is like living in a horrible nightmare that you can't wake up from. I remember it well from my own experience and I have done nothing but think about her all week. Hang in there sweetheart.

In other news we took our lovely old fat cat Mr Rash (Rasher) to the vet this morning again. Two weeks ago he had 2 teeth out but he's just not been the same since he came home.

He's been lethargic, depressed and very quiet, he's also not eating (not like him at all!) and losing interest in everything around him.

When he went in for his teeth op he weighed 5.3kg, a week later at the checkup he was 5.1kg - today he is 4.4kg so he has lost a lot of weight in just over a week.

The vet felt his tummy and much to our shock she found a large lump. She asked her colleague to take a look and they confirmed that there is a lump there that shouldn't be :(

So they are keeping him in overnight, putting him on a drip and taking more blood samples for tests, plus doing an x-ray to see if that gives them a better idea of what is going on.

If that doesn't help then he might need an operation, but as they don't yet know what or where this lump is we don't know the outcome - but she did say be prepared for the worst as it might not be operable and they might have to put him to sleep.

I'm absolutely devastated, Mr Rash is my big fat cuddly bear and the thought of losing him like this is tearing at my heart.

There is just too much sad this week.

22 weeks pregnant today

I always do my updates for the week on a Monday as it's the day that we move into the next pregnancy week, but today's update is filled with such mixed emotions.

A very good friend of mine who is also pregnant with a singleton (1 week ahead of me) was admitted to hospital last Friday after her waters broke at 22+4. She is hanging in there and so far the baby is still doing OK, but she is going through what we went through almost 3 years ago with Matthew.

Premature Rupture of the Membrane is a terrible thing. It comes suddenly and there is often no reason why. It is devastating, heartbreaking and truly one of the most difficult times a couple can face.

It breaks my heart to see this, I know the pain, the emotion and the roller-coaster ride of ups and downs that her and her husband are now going through, and I wouldn't wish this on an enemy, let alone a very close friend.

So for today I'm not going to do the update, I'll save that for later in the week.

Today I just want to wish her and her husband all the best and hope that they can come through this difficult time together.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

MRSA, big kicks last night and twins night tonight!

Wow, a lot has happened in the last 24 hours so I should give you an update.

About 5.50pm last night I had a call from my Midwife - to tell me that the swab they took at the 20 week scan for MRSA came back positive :(

I don't think this is anything to be worried about - I'm not sick, or have any infections, but it seems I am 'colonised' which basically means I have it present on my skin. (As do about 30% of the population).

I have been given some antibacterial soap to help get rid of it and it won't harm me or the babies, but I'm also waiting to hear back from my consultant today to ask a few questions.

MRSA can cause harm when it gets an opportunity to enter the body, for example through a cut or wound. It can cause pimples and boils, or more serious problems such as wound infections and chest infections. In more serious cases it can cause bloodstream infections.

So nothing to worry about at this stage, but I'll post more if I find out anything!

Also last night we were sat watching TV and the girls were kicking like crazy! It felt like they were having a fight in there, Chris put his hand on my tummy and was able to feel several large kicks which was fantastic for him!

And tonight we have part 2 of the twins class - I hope my bum doesn't go as numb as it did last week!

And finally - all my love to Tracy, and a BIG Happy 1st Birthday to Noah - I can't believe he is One today! where has the year gone?

The bump is getting bigger every day!

We finally got around to taking a new bump pic last night - its ever growing and feels heavier by the day!

They say that as a mother of twins I will be approx 8 weeks ahead of where a singleton mum would be, so about now although I'm 21 weeks my uterus is as stretched as a pregnant woman around 29 weeks!

Check it out!

The kicking is getting stronger

I've been fortunate to feel my babies moving since about 9 weeks, which I know is really early but one of them is at the front and the other at the back, so I think the one at the front gets a little mushed against the uterine wall!

I first felt an actual kick a few weeks ago, I wasn't sure what is was at first as it felt a little like an irritation under the skin - like when a muscle spasms and it twitches! but after I'd had it a few times and it wasn't always in the same place I was convinced it was one of them kicking me.

Now I feel them several times a day and even Chris can place his hand on my tummy and feel it, if you get a good hard kick you can also see my tummy moving.

I must admit that it's a wonderful feeling, it's reassuring for me to know they are still in there and getting stronger and it helps me to feel like this is really real this time, and that we are actually going to be parents to two little girls.

I've heard from other mums that the kicking just gets stronger and that perhaps I won't be so thrilled when I have a foot up under my rib at 4am - but I'm not going to complain! I couldn't be happier - they can kick me as much as they need to - it lets me know they are there!

21 weeks pregnant!

Yaaaay we made it to 21 weeks pregnant - each week that passes now is like a milestone for us and we are so thrilled to be here.

According to the various internet sources out there our babies now weigh about 360g. Well we know from the measurements last week that one was 352 and the other is 393 so they have probably gained a little more weight since then as they are now growing really fast and adding fat every day.

Up until now they has been measured from crown to rump but from this point on the measurement will be from crown to heel – and this week they are about 26cm long.

Their eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed, and they can now blink.

They can also now hear my conversations. They say if we talk, read, or sing to our babies, expect them to hear us!. Apparently some studies have found that newborns will suck more vigorously when read to from a book they heard frequently in the uterus (womb). One site says "If you want to try, pick a book now and read it out loud. Make sure you won't mind reading it over and over once your baby is here. It may be your baby's favourite bedtime story for a long time after birth." - I guess we will have to try that - Chris's favourite book is Wibbly Pig :)

Some sites also say "You're probably feeling quite comfortable these days. This, in fact, may be the most enjoyable time in your pregnancy. You're not too big yet, and the usual aches and pains associated with pregnancy like nausea, frequent urination, and fatigue are for the most part gone. Relax and enjoy it while you can". Well I say they are having a laugh! I'm still getting up to pee 3 or 4 times a night, I'm sitting here now fighting a bit of nausea (which seems to have been happening a bit every morning for the last week or two) and most of the time I'm just uncomfortable!

They say "The third trimester is just around the corner and with it comes mild discomfort from carrying a baby that is nearly full-term". Well with twins it looks like I'm near full term already and is beginning to feel like it too!

I'm suffering with back ache and pains in my coccyx area that I suspect are Pelvic Girdle Pain - I'm hoping the docs sort the physio out quickly so I can get this under control!

Twins club

You know what they say, first rule is you don't talk about twins club, 2nd rule is you don't talk about twins club - oh sorry that's fight club! lol

Anyway, we went to our first twins night at the hospital on Friday night - it runs for 3 weeks and is there for the parents to be of twins.

We weren't really sure what to expect but thought that it would be informative and interesting, which to some degree it was - but we soon realised that we are actually very well informed already and knew about 98% of what the 2 midwives talked about!

They ran through some of the basics, such as how do twins sit in the uterus, what positions they could be in for birth, and what drugs are available for labour. Some of this doesn't apply to us as we are booked for a c-section so I listened with interest but didn't pay too much attention until she talked about Epidural and Spinal Block drugs which is what I'm likely to have (spinal block).

It seems the spinal block is very similar to an epidural only it lasts for a shorter amount of time and can't be topped up - this is used when a c-section is planned as it speeds recovery from the drugs after the section has been performed.

So all in all it was an OK evening, we will go again next week as there may be the odd thing that we aren't aware of and also they are going to do a tour of the SCBU on the third week which we would like to see.

At the moment Chris is up in the 'nursery' doing a little more decorating, just going over the gloss work again and painting the ceiling white as his parents are coming week after next to help with the walls as they need lining and painting - then it will be ready to put furniture in!

Consultant appointment today

We have been to the hospital again today - another hour long wait but we are getting used to that now as they are always so busy there (NHS needs more doctors!).

All is well, I had my cervix checked and that seems to be OK, and also there was a little (trace) glucose in the urine test, but nothing to worry about, I will get this checked again in 2 weeks at the midwife appointment to make sure I'm not getting gestational diabetes.

I have also been referred to a physio as I'm suffering a little with lower back pain which could be related to SPD, but we will have to see. Hopefully it won't get any worse as some nights getting out of bed, or just standing up and walking causes some nasty pains!

Other than that all is well, we have another appointment and scan booked for 24 weeks - which is my next big milestone!

Our next mini milestone is 21 weeks and 3 days as this is the day we sadly lost our little boy. I don't ever want to have to go through that again, so we will be very happy when this time has gone and we can put that behind us and move on.

20 week scan results

We had our 20 week scan today which we were both really excited about! It's a huge milestone for us to get to this scan with no problems, although we were both pretty nervous as this is also an anomaly scan where they check for all kinds of potential problems.

However - All is well! We waited about 40 minutes to be seen (typically late!) and were about 45 minutes in the scan room.

Both girls (yes we had it confirmed!) are doing really well and there are no issues with either of them.

Twin 1 (the one at the bottom) weighs 14 ounces and twin 2 weighs 12 ounces which is about where they should be for this gestational age.

We had to go and wait for a while though and go back in after 20 minutes as twin 1 wasn't playing ball and the sonographer needed to see her spine - she wasn't laying the right way and wouldn't turn so we got to see them twice :)

We have to go back to the hospital on Thursday to see the consultant, where I should also get the results of the MRSA test that they did today - this is routine for all pregnancies at 20 weeks now.

Here are a few pictures from the scan (I will add bump pics later in the week) - these are twin 1 who is laid with her head to the left - I think the top pic you can also see part of twin 2 creeping in!




And these are twin 2 who is laid with her head to the right:

20 weeks pregnant and a busy week!

This week is going to be a great baby week for us - we have the 20 week scan tomorrow, the consultant on Thursday (why we can't have them at the same time is beyond me!) and on Friday night we are going to our first twins ante-natal class!

We officially hit 20 weeks today and so far all is well. You have no idea how thrilled we are to be getting through each week at the moment!

Also Chris got to feel one of the babies (we think twin 2) kick on Friday night, and now when she kicks hard enough you can actually see my tummy move! I never got to feel this with Matthew so I'm really excited to know what it feels like.

As we are now 20 weeks, we are officially in our 5th month of pregnancy - which means only 4 to go!

In terms of their development they have established sleep patterns akin to a newborn now. Many babies even have a favourite sleep position already. Some snooze with their chins resting on their chests, while others nap with their head flung back. Many babies at this age fall into noticeable cycles of sleep and activity (don't I know it!).

From this point forward, both babies will put most of their energy into gaining weight and, not coincidentally, so will you! Right now they weigh approximately 10½ ounces and is about 6½ inches long, but we hope to find this out tomorrow!

They are a also now becoming covered in a greasy white substance called vernix caseosa which coats their entire body and protects their skin during its long submersion in amniotic fluid.

Some sites also report that their hearing is getting better and they can now react to loud external sounds!

Thoughts on becoming a mother

I still read the fertility friends board most days, I see many women who achieve their dream of becoming a mother, and sadly I also see many other women who like me have suffered terrible losses that are more heartbreaking than you can imagine.

A few weeks ago a lady who was having twins lost one of the babies at 31 weeks, she called him Noah and his funeral was last week. She also gave birth to a daughter named Leah, so for her she has the difficult task of dealing with joy and grief all at the same time.

Someone posted a message to her that I want to share on here as it is exactly how both myself and my husband feel about these babies. I couldn't have written this better if I had tried.

Thoughts on becoming a mother - author unknown

There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed her
and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill,
take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense: that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbour, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body,
I have been tried by fire and a hell that many never face,
yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth,
to accept when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in these shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

19 weeks and 3 days - a milestone for us

Today is a mini milestone in this pregnancy, it's a day I've been dreading and a day that I can't wait to get past.

19 weeks and 3 days was the day that my waters broke on my last pregnancy with Matthew. It was a Sunday, and I remember it like it was just last week.

Many of the fears that we have had so far for this pregnancy have stemmed from this date as it's been like a mental block to get past - but so far it's looking good!

I have a lot of work to do today, which I'm hoping is going to keep my mind occupied and on something else, but we are thrilled and proud to have reached this point.

We are also more than half way - assuming we make it to the c-section that is booked for the 10th Feb next year, yesterday marked the exact midway point in the pregnancy - so for us, today also marks a good day - it's the first day down the hill!

19 weeks pregnant and half way threre!

This week marks the exact half way point for me (unless they come a little early in which case we are more than half way now!). As we are having a C-Section at 38 weeks then the 19th week is halfway.

I've read up on what's going on this week and there seems to be a disagreement on some websites over how big they are at the moment, I've read that they are 11cm, 14cm and according to the NHS 19cm! at the moment :) So who knows, I guess they are somewhere in between those numbers, but judging by the amount of movement I've been feeling lately I'm thinking they are bigger.

They are continuing to is swallow amniotic fluid, and their kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on their scalp is sprouting too now (probably blonde!)

Sensory development reaches its peak this week. The nerve cells serving each of the senses – taste, smell, hearing, seeing, and touch – are developing in their specialised areas of the brain.

Nerve cell production slows down as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. Both girls already have roughly six million eggs in their ovaries. By the time they are born, they will have about a million.

One site says that I may have felt the kicking and somersaulting of your growing baby and at times, you might find that she is so mobile that you can't sleep. Well I have - I've started to feel the kicking from twin 2 (the one at the top and the front) but not so much from twin 1 yet, but I'm guessing this is because she is at the back of the uterus. The next 10 weeks or so will be their busiest and most active time, until the uterus gets too crowded (which isn't going to take long now!)

So things are OK here - they are moving, I'm still not bleeding (3 weeks now!) and I am hopeful that we will make it through the next 5 weeks to the 24 week mark - that all important milestone.

Wish me luck.

Midwife Appointment

All is well with the Midwife, just a check up yesterday, although it did show my blood pressure was a little low, I checked it myself this morning though and it seems to be OK again.

Apparently it's quite normal to have low pressure at this point in a pregnancy, so there is nothing really to worry about.

Rasher went into the vet today - he's our big fat white and black cat - he's having his teeth looked at, so I hope he's OK - we think he will have to have one removed as he's been eating on one side a lot lately. Poor old mog.

I promised another video clip too of the girls, I have a couple to upload - so here is another one from the 4D scan that we had done at 16 weeks, it's only 10 seconds but you can see them both together :)

Was that a kick?

I'm starting to love being pregnant now - even though we aren't feeling totally safe yet (another 6-8 weeks and we hopefully will!) we are starting to relax a little and enjoy what we have achieved so far.

Yesterday I was sat at my desk working away as usual and I felt an odd sensation inside my belly, it was like something was prodding me from inside - just a couple of times and it was quite light, but it did leave me wondering if I was being kicked and feeling it for the first time!

I have felt them moving quite a lot - about 3 times a day for several weeks now, but to date I've not felt any actual 'kicks' so I was quite excited that this might be the first!

In other news I have a midwife appointment later today, I don't expect much from this - maybe a listen in to their heartbeats, a urine test and maybe a blood test as I almost fainted the other day while sat at my desk - must get that checked out!

Oh and after 18 weeks, my maternity exemption card FINALLY arrived!

18 weeks pregnant today!

This week, the babies may have reached 15 cm from crown to rump (but different sites seem to be reporting different measurements!), and they can both feel and hear. Admittedly at the moment, all they can hear is my heartbeat and the flow of my digestive system (poor them!) but soon they will be able to detect noise outside the womb and identify your voice! I'm sure this is going to please Chris lots as he has been talking to them for a few weeks now! This means I'm going to get more nights where he is pressed up against my belly speaking at them!

Their skeleton started off as rubbery cartilage, but it is now starting to toughen up; and their limbs are lengthening, their legs are now longer than their arms and they have far more bones than an adult, but many of these will fuse together before birth. They are now looking ever more like a proper human being. Now that they are roughly in proportion, their body will grow at a slower rate. Most of their weight gain from now on will be fat.

The umbilical cord, pumped entirely by their little hearts, can now circulate up to 28 litres (50 pints) of fluid a day, taking food and oxygen to each of them (I have two placentas) and removing waste products.

The development of their digestive system is well underway now too. Their intestines are now anchored inside their abdomens, and their digestive glands are growing. Their immune system is also beginning to mature, ready for life outside the womb.

As for me, I'm getting bigger and bigger! One site said my uterus should be the size of a honeydew melon - well it would be if I was having just one! but as I'm having two it's twice that size and don't I know it!

Here is a picture taken last week at about 17.5 weeks:

Another week is passing!

I love it when it gets to Friday (who doesn't) it means the weekend is here, I get my hubby home for 2 days and then we get to jump into the next week of pregnancy!

This weekend we are going window shopping for prams and cots (again!) we have looked loads already but as we don't plan to buy anything until we are past 24 weeks it's giving us plenty of time to be sure about what we want.

I think we know what pram we want now, so we are going back to the shop to check it out again - It's the LeeBruss Zoom - having looked at a few others since we last saw it we are still thinking that this one will be right for us.

I also found out the other day that they have opened a showroom in Bristol about 200 yards from where my Nan lives! so we might have to make a trip to visit them (and family) at the same time!

We aren't so sure with cots yet, although we are set on having a cot-bed. This means the babies will be able to grow with their cots and use them until they are about 5 or 6 which is good for us and more cost effective over the long term, so we are looking for a nice one - in an oak style wood. We are favouring the sleigh bed styles at the moment, but who knows we might find something else in the mean time!

As for everything else - we aren't so sure yet, there are loads of things to get but we are also really aware that not everything is a requirement and you can get by without buying things like moses baskets which according to some mums they use for about 3-6 months! And as we'd have to buy 2 of everything it's not something I want to rush out and waste money on!

It's fun to look though and we can't wait until we can actually go and buy some of these things with confidence. Until I feel safe though that they are really, really going to come this time without problems I just can't do this, we don't want to waste money and we don't want the heartbreak of having to take stuff back, or to stare at an empty nursery - we almost had this with Matthew as we were about to buy loads of things just before we lost him, so that was a tough lesson that was learned.

Only a few more weeks though and we can let the fun part begin!

A little video clip of the girls!

OK so I have posted twice today, but when we were at the scan last week they gave us a DVD, which I've been editing and made a few clips from - for those who haven't seen a scan before - here is what they look like in 2D (we think the 2D is better at this stage!)

So here is a 45 second clip where you can actually see both of them, but it sort of flicks between them as the scanner moved around!

What's happening with the Girls?

In all the excitement of knowing we are having girls and also with work stuff keeping me busy I forgot to post all about what's going on in there this week! How could I forget??

At 17 weeks the babies are growing fast now, different sources seem to quote different things but we know last week they weighed about 6 ounces each (one site says they should be 4!)

This week fat begins to form and will continue to do so until they are born. Fat is important to the body's heat production and metabolism. Right now, at 17 weeks, water makes up about 3 ounces and fat 0.018 ounces of the baby's body.

In a baby at term, fat makes up about 5.25 pounds of the total average weight of 7.7 pounds. The placenta is continuing to grow at an amazing rate. The placenta will continue to develop in tandem with the baby and it will weigh more than a pound at birth! By this week, the placenta is large and well established with a network of blood vessels that exchange nutrients and waste.

The extra fat will help keep them warm after the birth, but for now, my amniotic fluid does the job for them, keeping them at a constant 37.5C - slightly warmer than my own body temperature.

One site says that the babies are now recognisably either a boy or a girl, with a visible penis and testes or a fledgling uterus and vagina. If you're having a girl, she already has around two million eggs in her ovaries. Well we know this now! and as they are girls they won't be needing their ovaries for a very very long time!!

Connections are constantly forming in their brains, meaning they have more control over their limbs, fingers and toes. Their blood circulation is well established, and each has an umbilical cord that is becoming thicker and longer to transport oxygen and nutrients into their little bodies. Each baby and their placenta are almost the same size.

Well no wonder I'm expanding so fast - and gaining more weight. I think to date since I did the IVF I've gained about 10-12 lbs which seems to be about right for twins.

17 weeks pregnant and we know the sex of the babies!

I've been waiting to put this on the blog since last Tuesday as we went and had a sneaky 4D scan, where we also paid extra to find out the sex of the babies! But we wanted to tell the grandparents in person first so it just had to wait!

However, according to the lady who did our scan - we are having two girls!!!!

To say we were shocked would be an understatement! We would never have bet on having two girls - in fact we believed it would be two boys or if we were really lucky one of each! Chris's family are well known for having boys and as we had a boy before we just assumed this would be the way forward!

However we are both really pleased and to be honest we don't care what the sex is, just as long as they arrive safely and healthy that is all that is important to us.

We haven't thought of names really (very much!) and we won't be announcing any that we like until they are born, we have decided that as we have shared every other minute detail on here, we are going to keep that for ourselves until they are born!

Justice for Jayden and a Midwife update

I've been really busy with work stuff this week and as there isn't much to tell I have totally forgotten to update my blog! I did visit the Midwife yesterday though, even if it was pretty uneventful.

She tested my urine and found a trace amount of protein, so nothing to worry about there, my blood pressure was normal and we listened into the heartbeats (I didn't have the heart to tell her that I have one of those heartbeat doppler thingies, and we use it once a week!). So all in all everything is OK - I'm booked in to see her again in 2 weeks so she can check urine again etc as this will help us to see if there are any infections etc, which just helps put my mind at rest.

This week I also read a very sad story the headline reads "Doctors told me it was against the rules to save my premature baby".

It seems this lady gave birth to a little boy at 21 weeks and 5 days - this is just 2 days after we gave birth to our son Matthew, so it hit home for me.

The baby was born alive and breathing, but because he was 'under the age for help' as determined by the national guidelines the doctors REFUSED to put him into the special care unit. He survived for just 2 hours due to lack of medical care.

I was shocked, saddened and angry at this story. How could a medical doctor refuse to help a dying child? In my eyes it doesn't matter if he's not 22 or even 24 weeks old, he was alive when he was born and breathing - so why did they not save him?

The mother has set up a petition with the Government to try and reduce the time limit on this national guideline - this I agree with - If we have been a few days or even a few weeks on with Matthew, they might have saved him too.

You can view Jaydens website here if you want to read more about his story. But I'd really like you to sign this petition now!.

Thank you!

16 weeks pregnant today! and Happy Birthday to Squeaker :)

Big day today! We have hit another mini milestone - in that we are 16 weeks pregnant - officially into the 4th month:) this means that the babies are about 11cm long from crown to rump, and they weigh approximately 100g. In the next three weeks they will go through a tremendous growth spurt, doubling their weight and adding inches to their length.

The circulatory system and urinary tract are now in full working order, and they are inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through their lungs. Apparently they will now be having a wee every 40 minutes or so (then drinking it - yuk!) as amniotic fluid, which is protecting them as they grow.

I read that sometimes, when I move suddenly, I may a feel a slight pain in my sides which is down to ligaments on each side of my uterus and pelvic walls are stretching as the babies grow. It's funny because I've had that for the last two days now!

In good news, and I don't want to speak too soon because the last time I wrote about this it lasted a few hours then returned - but I've not had any bleeding for the last 3-4 days. It doesn't mean it won't return though - but I'm glad it's gone for now.

And as for our little furbaby 'Squeaker' - she is celebrating her 17th birthday today! She is deaf as a post these days and very shouty, but still quite sprightly, and full of life, (when she's not sleeping!). I still think she has a few years in her yet, so a big Happy Birthday to our oldest furbaby. Tuna all round for tea tonight!

Consultant appointment yesterday

Yesterday afternoon we had an appointment at the hospital at 2.45pm to see the consultant for a check up. We arrived on time and sat there and waited, and waited and waited.

We finally went in at 5.15pm - a mere two and a half hours late! we were not impressed!

Anyway all was OK sort of - even though the midwife pointed out that we had blood, ketone's and protein in the urine test they did - something they failed to also point out the last time we were there. When we asked what this meant the consultant said it could be that you have an infection.

This immediately terrified us, as infections can cause PROM which is what happened with Matthew. So they asked for another urine sample. Luckily I'd been sat around for 2.5 hours so I needed to go and they retested - this one came back negative...

Regardless we asked them to send it away for a double check as we can't take the risk of anything happening, but I think all is OK.

We also officially booked in the C-Section!! The doc wants to do it at 38 weeks so we are booked in for 10th Feb 2010. I'm not sure we will make it that far but if we do that will be their official birth day :)

This means they will be here in 22 weeks and 5 days or 159 days from today.

For your amusement, here is a picture of the bump at 15.5 weeks (and Rasher the cat looking a bit startled!)

15 weeks and 1 day today

I didn't post yesterday as it was a bank holiday weekend and I vowed to stay away from my computer as I practically live on here! so today we are 15 weeks and one day!

This week they will be measuring about 9-10cm and they are starting to develop eyelashes and eyebrows (just one or two hairs for now!) and although their eyes are sealed shut for now, they may be able to sense light (time to get the torch out!).

The bones in their ears that are responsible for hearing are now just starting to develop, and their taste buds are sprouting, too. From now on, they will get a flavour of whatever I eat via the amniotic fluid. (Apparently one study showed that unborn babies swallow more amniotic fluid if it tastes sweet, and less if it's bitter – pass the chocolate cake!!).

This week sees a period of rapid growth, with the babies starting to lay down fat under their skin.

Their sex organs are maturing, and a highly skilled sonographer might be able to tell the sex at this point. (We hope to find out at the 20 week scan! - can't wait for that!).

They are also gaining more control of their movements; and scans at this stage have shown babies playing with the umbilical cord, snuggling up to the wall of the uterus, apparently for comfort, and even fighting with their twin! (they had better be behaving in there, no fighting please!)

They may also probably get regular bouts of hiccups from now on, which will help their lungs prepare for breathing.

As for me I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, still getting a few bouts of tiredness, and a few restless nights - I'm up to pee several times which is now just annoying, it was a novelty at first, but I'd rather get a good night's sleep - I suppose this is just preparing me for what is ahead!